- Describe the behavior.
- Disclose your feelings about it.
- Clarify the concrete effect it had on you.
When describing the behavior…
- Be specific
- Be brief
- Don’t make inferences
- Make it objective
Sample assertion messages:
“When you arrive late for work I get angry because I have to stay later to cover for you.”
“I felt very disappointed last night when you cancelled out on our plans because I was really looking forward to getting together with you.”
“When you don’t tell me what your expectations are of me, I begin to feel very anxious because I worry that I’m not doing my job right.”